Gosh, thank you for writing and sharing this. It brought tears to my eyes. Your experience of being incredibly independent and unsure how that could ever work in a relationship is very familiar. It's so wonderful to read about how you came to a happy ending that is firmly rooted in real life, struggle, and growth.
This is a gorgeous essay. š„° The writing is delicious, and it's such a generous welcoming of us into an intimate, tender journey into self-and-couplehood. Thank you, Clare (and Troy)! And big congratulations on your marriage. Also big condolences on the losses you named...all of them, including the ones you have chosen in order to be with F. Those disenfranchised losses are definitely a thing, too.
Also, that light show at the National Cathedral!!! Rainbow floodlights on gothic architecture in the US capital is an exquisite form of resistance ā¤ļøš§”šššš
Thank you so much Keith. I'm so glad you enjoyed it, and I love that you used the word "delicious". What a compliment!
Thanks also for your condolences and congratulations. It's strange when those two things go together, but isn't that often the way. š³ļøāš š
It was truly a brilliant piece of writing, Clare. Thank you again for sharing it! And yes, it's a strange, but not uncommon, juxtaposition when congrats and condolences inhabit the same experience.
R and I had a Civil Union a month or so after 9/11 in part because neither of us trusted our families of origin to allow us access should one or the other of us fall ill.
23 years later R kicked me out and after being statisticly homeless for 4 1/2 months I am now living in subsidized housing as she lounges in our old 1k a month apartment.
So, it ain't all beef and skittles.
If you are LGB+TQIA2S or simply alone and heterosexual, get all your end of life paperwork in order and review it every FIVE years or when a change of life happens. Most states have "fill in the blanks" forms for end of life, power of attorney and even wills. All they need is to be witnessed and notarized.
This is important advice Andrea. It doesn't make for a very interesting essay, but I did get my wills etc updated last year too. You never know what's around the corner, and it's always better to be prepared. My mother died when I was 19, and she didn't have a will so I know from painful, personal experience how devestating that can be.
Thanks for sharing this important advice, Andrea. We gotta stay on top of these tasks that could end up mattering a lot! š
As a retired minister I can't emphasize this enough. I'm 68. I lost my parents at 21 and was left a Trust that I wisely invested in education. However 3 days after we buried my Mom the bankers and the Trustees made me sign a will I didn't write.
When I did pre- cana with couples I emphasized how important this is. I had them meet with a banker and a funeral director and suggested meeting with a lawyer as well to learn about this stuff.
My sibling is an addict ( she tried to sell our family cemetery plot) and is still insisting that I owe her money over 40 years later.
Thank you Clare for this - this is the proverbial happy ending despite the bittersweet memory of your mother's life. And I'm very sad that Budino passed, what a sweet face. š
So great to read you, Clare. Looking forward to becoming more familiar with your work!
Thanks for reading, Gail š
Gosh, thank you for writing and sharing this. It brought tears to my eyes. Your experience of being incredibly independent and unsure how that could ever work in a relationship is very familiar. It's so wonderful to read about how you came to a happy ending that is firmly rooted in real life, struggle, and growth.
Thank you for your comment, Sheridan, I love Clare's story too
This is a gorgeous essay. š„° The writing is delicious, and it's such a generous welcoming of us into an intimate, tender journey into self-and-couplehood. Thank you, Clare (and Troy)! And big congratulations on your marriage. Also big condolences on the losses you named...all of them, including the ones you have chosen in order to be with F. Those disenfranchised losses are definitely a thing, too.
Also, that light show at the National Cathedral!!! Rainbow floodlights on gothic architecture in the US capital is an exquisite form of resistance ā¤ļøš§”šššš
Thank you so much Keith. I'm so glad you enjoyed it, and I love that you used the word "delicious". What a compliment!
Thanks also for your condolences and congratulations. It's strange when those two things go together, but isn't that often the way. š³ļøāš š
It was truly a brilliant piece of writing, Clare. Thank you again for sharing it! And yes, it's a strange, but not uncommon, juxtaposition when congrats and condolences inhabit the same experience.
Thank you Keith. I really appreciate your kind words š
This was a special episode of Qstack, thanks for sharing with us, Keith š
R and I had a Civil Union a month or so after 9/11 in part because neither of us trusted our families of origin to allow us access should one or the other of us fall ill.
23 years later R kicked me out and after being statisticly homeless for 4 1/2 months I am now living in subsidized housing as she lounges in our old 1k a month apartment.
So, it ain't all beef and skittles.
If you are LGB+TQIA2S or simply alone and heterosexual, get all your end of life paperwork in order and review it every FIVE years or when a change of life happens. Most states have "fill in the blanks" forms for end of life, power of attorney and even wills. All they need is to be witnessed and notarized.
This is important advice Andrea. It doesn't make for a very interesting essay, but I did get my wills etc updated last year too. You never know what's around the corner, and it's always better to be prepared. My mother died when I was 19, and she didn't have a will so I know from painful, personal experience how devestating that can be.
Thanks for sharing this important advice, Andrea. We gotta stay on top of these tasks that could end up mattering a lot! š
As a retired minister I can't emphasize this enough. I'm 68. I lost my parents at 21 and was left a Trust that I wisely invested in education. However 3 days after we buried my Mom the bankers and the Trustees made me sign a will I didn't write.
When I did pre- cana with couples I emphasized how important this is. I had them meet with a banker and a funeral director and suggested meeting with a lawyer as well to learn about this stuff.
My sibling is an addict ( she tried to sell our family cemetery plot) and is still insisting that I owe her money over 40 years later.
It's really, really important Andrea. And I appreciate you sharing a little of your story to illustrate that point š
Thank you Clare for this - this is the proverbial happy ending despite the bittersweet memory of your mother's life. And I'm very sad that Budino passed, what a sweet face. š
Thank you my friend. It's an honour to be here š