Hello. If I was in the ideal relationship with another who is the same as myself. I would want to be married to that person. As I'm in a relationship with a woman and I asked her to marry me. She said no she just wants me to be her partner of her desires and needs for sex with me with her. But being bi-sexual and if I was in that position I would love to marry the person who says yes when I ask for their hand in marriage with me.
I have been in a position where we were awesome together and if I was in that position again I wouldn't hesitate to ask for marriage. As I love being with trans girls and others who have cocks as I do. With them. Way way way back in the past. In thinking more about same sex marriage I would love to marry a person who also loves being with me and that's where we would want to be married as it guarantees that my partner is with me for eternity till time has no meaning. After death as we still be in love with each other as one .. v
Today that's what I want to do. And my current partner doesn't want to be married to me.
So????
Should I start looking for another who loves sex with me and loves the opportunity to get married as partners of our love for each other as one.
If that person comes out of the blue and asks me to be awesome with them.
Then I will ask the question of union to be one in marriage. Not me but them or they will have to come out and ask me to my face as that's the only way I'd be in a same sex marriage
I would love to marry another who is in me as much as I am in them.
And marriage will make it permanent and totally legal.
Clare, thank you. I too never believed that I would get married. In fact, I was adamantly opposed to it. It was a vestige of the patriarchy that I wanted nothing to do with. For most of my life, it was not an option, but I never supported the efforts within the lesbian and gay community to extend marriage to us. And then it became legal--state by state--and finally in my state a year before the US Supreme Country legalized it nationally. The moment I heard the news, I called up my wife and asked, "Do you want to get married in the morning (the first day it was legal in Virginia)?" She said yes and the rest is history. We'll be celebrating our eleventh (legal) wedding anniversary this October. Here's a chapter of my memoir, "Living Into the Truth," about the federal marriage equality ruling in the US. https://www.annettemarquis.com/p/ch-22-finally-legal-finally-whole
Gosh, thank you for writing and sharing this. It brought tears to my eyes. Your experience of being incredibly independent and unsure how that could ever work in a relationship is very familiar. It's so wonderful to read about how you came to a happy ending that is firmly rooted in real life, struggle, and growth.
This is a gorgeous essay. š„° The writing is delicious, and it's such a generous welcoming of us into an intimate, tender journey into self-and-couplehood. Thank you, Clare (and Troy)! And big congratulations on your marriage. Also big condolences on the losses you named...all of them, including the ones you have chosen in order to be with F. Those disenfranchised losses are definitely a thing, too.
Also, that light show at the National Cathedral!!! Rainbow floodlights on gothic architecture in the US capital is an exquisite form of resistance ā¤ļøš§”šššš
Thank you so much Keith. I'm so glad you enjoyed it, and I love that you used the word "delicious". What a compliment!
Thanks also for your condolences and congratulations. It's strange when those two things go together, but isn't that often the way. š³ļøāš š
It was truly a brilliant piece of writing, Clare. Thank you again for sharing it! And yes, it's a strange, but not uncommon, juxtaposition when congrats and condolences inhabit the same experience.
R and I had a Civil Union a month or so after 9/11 in part because neither of us trusted our families of origin to allow us access should one or the other of us fall ill.
23 years later R kicked me out and after being statisticly homeless for 4 1/2 months I am now living in subsidized housing as she lounges in our old 1k a month apartment.
So, it ain't all beef and skittles.
If you are LGB+TQIA2S or simply alone and heterosexual, get all your end of life paperwork in order and review it every FIVE years or when a change of life happens. Most states have "fill in the blanks" forms for end of life, power of attorney and even wills. All they need is to be witnessed and notarized.
This is important advice Andrea. It doesn't make for a very interesting essay, but I did get my wills etc updated last year too. You never know what's around the corner, and it's always better to be prepared. My mother died when I was 19, and she didn't have a will so I know from painful, personal experience how devestating that can be.
Thanks for sharing this important advice, Andrea. We gotta stay on top of these tasks that could end up mattering a lot! š
As a retired minister I can't emphasize this enough. I'm 68. I lost my parents at 21 and was left a Trust that I wisely invested in education. However 3 days after we buried my Mom the bankers and the Trustees made me sign a will I didn't write.
When I did pre- cana with couples I emphasized how important this is. I had them meet with a banker and a funeral director and suggested meeting with a lawyer as well to learn about this stuff.
My sibling is an addict ( she tried to sell our family cemetery plot) and is still insisting that I owe her money over 40 years later.
Thank you Clare for this - this is the proverbial happy ending despite the bittersweet memory of your mother's life. And I'm very sad that Budino passed, what a sweet face. š
Hello. If I was in the ideal relationship with another who is the same as myself. I would want to be married to that person. As I'm in a relationship with a woman and I asked her to marry me. She said no she just wants me to be her partner of her desires and needs for sex with me with her. But being bi-sexual and if I was in that position I would love to marry the person who says yes when I ask for their hand in marriage with me.
I have been in a position where we were awesome together and if I was in that position again I wouldn't hesitate to ask for marriage. As I love being with trans girls and others who have cocks as I do. With them. Way way way back in the past. In thinking more about same sex marriage I would love to marry a person who also loves being with me and that's where we would want to be married as it guarantees that my partner is with me for eternity till time has no meaning. After death as we still be in love with each other as one .. v
Today that's what I want to do. And my current partner doesn't want to be married to me.
So????
Should I start looking for another who loves sex with me and loves the opportunity to get married as partners of our love for each other as one.
If that person comes out of the blue and asks me to be awesome with them.
Then I will ask the question of union to be one in marriage. Not me but them or they will have to come out and ask me to my face as that's the only way I'd be in a same sex marriage
I would love to marry another who is in me as much as I am in them.
And marriage will make it permanent and totally legal.
Clare, thank you. I too never believed that I would get married. In fact, I was adamantly opposed to it. It was a vestige of the patriarchy that I wanted nothing to do with. For most of my life, it was not an option, but I never supported the efforts within the lesbian and gay community to extend marriage to us. And then it became legal--state by state--and finally in my state a year before the US Supreme Country legalized it nationally. The moment I heard the news, I called up my wife and asked, "Do you want to get married in the morning (the first day it was legal in Virginia)?" She said yes and the rest is history. We'll be celebrating our eleventh (legal) wedding anniversary this October. Here's a chapter of my memoir, "Living Into the Truth," about the federal marriage equality ruling in the US. https://www.annettemarquis.com/p/ch-22-finally-legal-finally-whole
So great to read you, Clare. Looking forward to becoming more familiar with your work!
Thanks for reading, Gail š
Gosh, thank you for writing and sharing this. It brought tears to my eyes. Your experience of being incredibly independent and unsure how that could ever work in a relationship is very familiar. It's so wonderful to read about how you came to a happy ending that is firmly rooted in real life, struggle, and growth.
Thank you for your comment, Sheridan, I love Clare's story too
This is a gorgeous essay. š„° The writing is delicious, and it's such a generous welcoming of us into an intimate, tender journey into self-and-couplehood. Thank you, Clare (and Troy)! And big congratulations on your marriage. Also big condolences on the losses you named...all of them, including the ones you have chosen in order to be with F. Those disenfranchised losses are definitely a thing, too.
Also, that light show at the National Cathedral!!! Rainbow floodlights on gothic architecture in the US capital is an exquisite form of resistance ā¤ļøš§”šššš
Thank you so much Keith. I'm so glad you enjoyed it, and I love that you used the word "delicious". What a compliment!
Thanks also for your condolences and congratulations. It's strange when those two things go together, but isn't that often the way. š³ļøāš š
It was truly a brilliant piece of writing, Clare. Thank you again for sharing it! And yes, it's a strange, but not uncommon, juxtaposition when congrats and condolences inhabit the same experience.
Thank you Keith. I really appreciate your kind words š
This was a special episode of Qstack, thanks for sharing with us, Keith š
R and I had a Civil Union a month or so after 9/11 in part because neither of us trusted our families of origin to allow us access should one or the other of us fall ill.
23 years later R kicked me out and after being statisticly homeless for 4 1/2 months I am now living in subsidized housing as she lounges in our old 1k a month apartment.
So, it ain't all beef and skittles.
If you are LGB+TQIA2S or simply alone and heterosexual, get all your end of life paperwork in order and review it every FIVE years or when a change of life happens. Most states have "fill in the blanks" forms for end of life, power of attorney and even wills. All they need is to be witnessed and notarized.
This is important advice Andrea. It doesn't make for a very interesting essay, but I did get my wills etc updated last year too. You never know what's around the corner, and it's always better to be prepared. My mother died when I was 19, and she didn't have a will so I know from painful, personal experience how devestating that can be.
Thanks for sharing this important advice, Andrea. We gotta stay on top of these tasks that could end up mattering a lot! š
As a retired minister I can't emphasize this enough. I'm 68. I lost my parents at 21 and was left a Trust that I wisely invested in education. However 3 days after we buried my Mom the bankers and the Trustees made me sign a will I didn't write.
When I did pre- cana with couples I emphasized how important this is. I had them meet with a banker and a funeral director and suggested meeting with a lawyer as well to learn about this stuff.
My sibling is an addict ( she tried to sell our family cemetery plot) and is still insisting that I owe her money over 40 years later.
It's really, really important Andrea. And I appreciate you sharing a little of your story to illustrate that point š
Thank you Clare for this - this is the proverbial happy ending despite the bittersweet memory of your mother's life. And I'm very sad that Budino passed, what a sweet face. š
Thank you my friend. It's an honour to be here š