21 Comments
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Bryson's avatar

Kelly, I want to thank you for voicing feelings that I don't think I could get down on paper. What you have done here to provide the stories of so many of us in such a quality way is greatly appreciated. Thank you. -your sister in spirit

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Kelly Aster's avatar

Oh you're very welcome, Bryson. I feel I must thank *you* for your kind words of support. Thank you!!❤️ I will do my best to amplify our voices in what little ways I can. We gotta survive this, we are people too, and we are certainly not alone.

Best wishes to you🏳️‍⚧️

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River Selby (they/them)'s avatar

This is beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing yourself with us. ❤️

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Kelly Aster's avatar

That is so kind of you, River. I appreciate the compliment. ❤️ Best wishes to you ❤️

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Keith Aron's avatar

Deeply relate to this...the regrets about chances not taken, the struggle to not fall into an abyss of addiction, the determination to make the most of what remains of your GenX life, the way it feels to be trans in a place where your very existence is regarded as subhuman, the disenfranchised grief of your former self not gotten a proper memorial. Thank you for your courage, vulnerability and generosity in writing and speaking and sharing this, Kelly (and thank you Troy, for highlighting this magic). Sending you so much wishes for incomparable goodness to come. 🩵🩷🤍✨🕊️

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Kelly Aster's avatar

Thank you so much, Keith. Yeah, everyone is different and all (I prefer it that way, couldn't imagine life as the Borg), but it's amazing to me how that others have felt/feel the same feelings. It can be such an immense, sometimes almost unbearable thing to process, but there is comfort in knowing I'm not the only one. Y'all are my tribe, lol. Thank you for reaching out. ❤️🏳️‍⚧️

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Mal Pronouns's avatar

Our stories are sacred. Kelly, your journey and your story and your heart are sacred.

Your courage in sharing your story will help others become their true selves. ✨❤️✨

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Kelly Aster's avatar

Thank you Mal! ❤️ Wow, that actually didn't occur to me until now. Maybe this will reach someone and they'll know they aren't alone. Thank you again.

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Robin Taylor (he/him)'s avatar

Kelly... I have sat with this essay for a while now, reading it, re-reading it, and over and over I find little pieces of my own journey in your words. This is so achingly beautiful and a truly vital exploration of how to love and thank the parts of ourselves who got us to where we are now. Thank you for writing this and sharing it with all of us.

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Kelly Aster's avatar

Sorry this reply is so late, Robin. Busy day and got stuck hyoer-focused on writing. I'm so glad this resonated with you. You do know what it's like, it's really odd to reflect back on "old self," isn't it?

Sometimes it almost feels like someone else's memories, but nope, that's just because they were experienced through a weirdass defensive shell completely fabricated by self. That's how I kinda see it, anyway. Thank you again for your kind words. As I'm sure you're aware, it really means a lot when true self is seen and acknowledged ❤️

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Lisa Joy 💜🏳️‍🌈's avatar

Beautiful.

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Kelly Aster's avatar

Thanks a bunch, Lisa Joy. Much appreciated! ❤️

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DIANA ADMIRE's avatar

You go girl!

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Kelly Aster's avatar

Hi Diana, and thank you! ❤️

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Nina Carroll's avatar

What a beautiful letter to Kurt, Kelly, and the world. Thank you for bravely sharing this arduous journey. May you find happiness, health, and joy in this liberation.

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Kelly Aster's avatar

Hi Nina, thank you, that's so kind of you to say. May you find the same 🖖

(IDK if you or anyone reading the comments recognizes that, that emoji is the Vulcan salute. Yes I am a nerd lol)

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Vince Roman's avatar

Thanks for sharing this

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Kelly Aster's avatar

Thanks, Vince! Glad you saw something of value in it.

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Mr. Troy Ford's avatar

I was so moved by this, Kelly - I don't usually ask to feature someone's work on Qstack, but in this case, I was happy to bypass the hope for a submission and go for it. This eulogy speaks to something deep in all of us whenever we are faced with letting a former self go to become who we were meant to be. It's powerful, and I'm so glad you said Yes! ❤️🍊💛💚💙💜🩷🩵🤎🖤🩶

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Kelly Aster's avatar

Troy, I'm so humbled. I think we all have a need to connect with others and know we're not alone, so I'm glad this resonated with you. Looks like it's resonating with a few others, too. Thanks for the boost!

>❤️🍊💛💚💙💜🩷🩵🤎🖤🩶

Ahahaha I love that orange emoji lol

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Mr. Troy Ford's avatar

My pleasure...! And I love the orange too, I wish I had a prize for you because I've been doing it since the beginning and you're the first person who's mentioned it. 🧡🍊🧡

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